So this came up in my news feed on Facbook - it was a poll done about the drinking habits of Australians. And it got me thinking I needed to get out why I stopped drinking like I did!
I was never a heavy drinker - my family aren't very big drinkers. My Dad did have a couple a day but it wouldn't alter is personality and I certainly wouldn't of called him a functioning alcoholic. So when I started drinking more and more I don't know why I did.
A few factors came to mind for why my consumption went up.
Kids and their behaviours
Using it to relax my lapband
Keeping up with the Jones'
I am going to break each one down and at the end give a reason why I stopped feeding my "addiction".
Kids.
Having one on the spectrum, another with some development delay and an older daughter who's going through some puberty I was hitting tether after tether with them all. I would open that fridge door and poor a BIG glass of wine each night. It helped me, calmed me down. I would say and I quote "Mummy needs this drink to cope with being a mum".
Lapband
Stress would cause my lapband to tighten. I would use wine to relax the band so I could eat more food. No more to be said about that one!
The Jones'
Remember those friends LOL. Those friends drank A LOT. I mean a lot more than I would ever do in one sitting. I would pop over for a visit and end up walking home drunk! We spent countless amounts of money to keep up with drinking some nights. If I didn't have a drink in my hand I would get smartass comments.
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The moment your son turns to you when walking past a shop and says "Mummy that's your favourite shop", and you turn and see Liquorland. It's at that point I realised what sort of life am I showing my children. That they are so badly behaved that for me to deal with them I need to be drunk or relaxed? I got the lapband to help with my weight - feeding myself wine wasn't doing me any good (15kg gain says it all). Drinking while my friendship faltered in front of me wasn't going to get them back! If anything the breakdown of the friendship made me drink more.
Eight weeks ago I decided to stop drinking like I did. I had no plan to go with, I wasn't going to tell myself I wasn't going to drink anymore because honestly that would of put a lot more pressure on me. Instead I promised myself a drink would be a treat. And it became that. In 8 weeks I have had a few drinks but I am not wanting to buy anymore soon.
Why are we normalising drinking so much? People say Smoking kills - Drinking does too. Should we start taxing alcohol at a higher rate? Alcohol fuelled violence, family abuse linked to drinking.
We want to fix all these problems but you flick through facebook and see jokes about a Mummy drinking a wine juice box to cope with her kids, a wine flask hidden in a handbag, how to smuggle wine in using your breasts! I mean come on!
I haven't had depression for well over a year - but I can see my drinking habits were being used as an anti-depressant. If I had continued on that path who knows what would've happened.
The moment I used alcohol to cope with my life - that was abusing the trust with alcohol.
I am now treating it with more respect - teaching my kids you can have fun without getting blind drunk - teaching my kids that while I may not be coping today alcohol isn't the answer.
*** When I write these blogs, I am speaking about my values, my truths and what is happening in my head/mind. I would never belittle someone for their choices - but I will say (because this is the big reason I turned away the glass) if you feel like you need to defend yourself for why you drink then maybe look at other avenues to cope. Because for me - the worry was how much more would I drink to stop caring all together.***
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